For the most part, I really like being a Pagan and like other Pagans. But there are a few things about mingling with other Pagans that make me want to just hide in my broom closet and never come out. Please do not take these complaints too seriously, as some of it is meant to be funny, at least half the time, and it does not by any means apply to every Pagan.
1. The need to include a disclaimer in anything said about Pagans, Wiccans, etc. See? I included a disclaimer above. You know, I probably shouldn't have because it's damn annoying that people have to scrutinize every nuance of what you are saying for the off chance you might be including someone that don't want to be included, or excluding some fringe idiot. It started with the whole "We don't worship Satan, so nyeh!" on every Pagan web site that was on Geocities back in the 90's and it probably was going on before then too.
Why do we have to qualify everything we say so that some screwball doesn't read something into what we write? It's like we have to appologize for what we say before we say it. We're so much in the habit of it that I think maybe we can't quit and wouldn't know what to do if we offended someone after we quit using it. And people who are addicted to disclaimers when reading a post on the web or in a newspaper or something should probably just take a deep breath, avoid getting offended, and try to figure out what the person is saying within the context of what they are writing. If you are still offended, THEN get pissy.
2. The use of the term "fluffy". You know, when it was first being used by traditionalists to describe the stupid, idiotic teen-fad wannabe Mc"Wiccans" it was fine. But now it's way too overused and has no meaning anymore. Everyone's an effing fluffy! Doesn't matter how old or new your tradition is, how ecclectic or not that you are, how well thought out or not your spiritual path is... someone, somewhere is calling you a fluffy. So it's not even an insult, really, anymore, just an outdated, overused expression like "Sike" and "Rad".
Yes, it was a fashion craze to call someone fluffy! It's come down to mean anyone else who you think is a bit silly.... and let's face it, all religion is silly. Anyone who says differently is selling something. Let's go back to the traditionalists calling everyone else a fluffy and the rest of us just should get over it.
3. The obsession with either darkness or light. I read Nocturnal Witchcraft and the Gothic Grimoire. Yeah, it's cute. Has some interesting ideas, really. Same thing with Night Magick (www.nightmagick.com) where darkness is a tangible force that you work with. Fine, I get that. I also have an appreciation for those that walk on the lighter side. I think crystals are groovy, and I'm sort of cool with the idea of goodness... Love, peace, forgiveness, healing vs. death, violence, pain, anger...
Whoa.... all of the dark things are found in the light areas and all of the light things are found in the dark areas. And sometimes the stuff in the dark areas can be "good" and sometimes the stuff in the light areas can be dangerously bad. So it's really down to personal preference. It's a style of doing things, really, like it or not. You can't stand in the light without casting a shadow, and even the black darkness of space highlights the beauty of the light of the stars. The words on this page could not be understood without both light and dark pixels. So do your own thing and if someone else does something totally different from you, get over it.
4. Bragging. Ok, some amoung of boasting is acceptable in the magickal community and our Celtic ancestors were very big on boasting. You must sell yourself in order to be respected. You do it when you go on a date and you do it when you go to a job interview. But people, I have a very well tuned bullcrap meter and if you tell me that you're a High Priestess from an unbroken family tradition of Druids, I'm going to smile and listen out of politeness, but in my head I'm writing you off as a liar and an idiot.
If you tell me that you're a High Priestess and "President of the Witches Council" and that you're having a romantic affair with your White Lighter, I'm not going to listen. I'm just going to glaze over, put up a few shields against your psychic vampire crazy ass, and then get away from you as soon as possible. You're a lying leech and I don't want to catch anything from you.
And if your long list of credentials is true, that's cool. You've had a chance in this world to decorate your name with titles and accolades. Good for you. Here's a cookie. Now let's have an intelligent discussion.
5. It has to be done THIS way. Your tradition, your tradition's rules. FINE. Open circle, even there, you have to have some basic agreement to go along with what the host wants to do. So what if you're in the Northern Hemisphere and your host is obviously working out of a book written by someone who lives in the Southen Hemisphere and they obviously never read another book in their life. If they invited you, and you showed up, drank their soda, ate their chips and sampled their mead, then you can either participate in the ritual as it is presented, or you can leave. Those are your choices.
However, I get more irritated with certain books, or certain people who tell you if you do this or you don't do that, then you aren't a witch, or something bad is going to happen to you. I've broken just about every "rule" put before me spiritually and magickally wise, and I have a clear concience when I say that the worst thing that's ever happened is my spell didn't work the way it was suppose to, and that had EVERYTHING to do with my state of mind when I was doing the ritual in the first place rather than whether I properly alligned the element of Earth with magnetic North. (I can get into a rant all about this one subject, but I'll save that for another time.)
6. Assuming the person you are talking to doesn't know a damn thing about Witchcraft, the Occult, etc. This is a very deep and heavy pet peeve for me, and yet I rarely say anything to the other person about it because I don't know how to politely say, "Well DUH!" Last time, I think I said, "Yeah, I knew that already," and it sounded horribly rude and I don't like rudeness. I don't know everything, and I'll be the first to let you know what exactly it is that I don't know about something. I'm voraciously curious, and I am not afraid to ask questions if I don't know something. That's how I got to be so smart. (See? I brag too.)
Trouble is, I get treated like an uneducated child every single time I get involved with other Pagans. I know I look young, but I'm not that young. I have a "cuteness" about me that I wish would turn into sultry, intelligent beauty, but that's not the way I am built. I'm also quiet until I get to know a person, so they assume because I don't shoot my mouth off as soon as I walk into a room that I must not have anything in my head to say. I know that this is partially my fault. I just wish that someone would give me a chance to show them what I got before dismissing me and patting me on a head like a child so that the adults can talk. Grrrrr!!!!!!
Ok, I'm over that. Besides, it's probably the fault of other Pagans and Witches my age and younger (sometimes older) who can't locate a book on a Pagan or occult subject unless it has a crescent moon on the binding.
7. Being "skeered" of magick. Occasionally I run into people who look down on magick users like they are somehow cheating and endangering themselves in the process. I gotta wonder how they find themselves on a Pagan path if they are afraid of going against the grain.
Magick can be scary. If you want to really change your Universe, it can be downright harrowing. If you aren't prepared.... And by prepared, I mean mentally, physically, and spiritually... If you have chosen to walk ANY magickal path, from the simplest folk magician to the mightiest ceremonialist, you must be able to face your fear. This is what bravery is. And if you can't be brave, don't even waste your time.
8. Being embarrassed for other Pagans being a little kooky. Look, we're different. We believe in magick, and we believe in various gods and goddesses as opposed to one mean asshole. (Refusal of disclaimer... if you don't like the previous statement, because it doesn't include you in the proper way, go take a long walk in any direction and keep going.)
Some of us are weird and believe in some really weird crap, and some of us have a very colorful fantasy life that we feel free, because of our belief in diversified life, deity, and reality, to express our fantasies. You think you were a dragon in a past life, got a nice little dragon suit that you'd like to wear, not to work, but to a Pagan festival... I'm cool with that, but would you mind putting a bag over your head while the press is here?
This is a sticky subject and there really isn't a good answer for it. I want people to be able to be as weird as they want to be as long as no one gets hurt, but those uptight so-called normal people who paint their faces and chests in their football team's colors and yell obscenities at the other team think we're all "freaks" just like the guy in the dragon suit. See how silly it is to care what THEY think?
I don't care if they DO outnumber us, if we take a stand for our rights, there is no power that could overcome us. Do we want to be taken seriously? Yes. Do we want to take ourselves so seriously that we can't express ourselves? No. I think though, that anywhere we feel safe enough to be naked, we should feel safe enough to wear faery wings if we choose.
On the other hand, going out of our way to make ourselves seem like we're just fun and liberal Christians is hypocritical at best. Take, for instance, that Wiccan lady on My Unique Family wearing a Catholic Priest's collar... what's up with covering up a feminine Goddess figure with a boxy looking vestment? Just so that she could be respected as a minister? I'd respect her more if she didn't try to put Wicca into a Christian mold.
9. Shiny Objects. I love shiny objects. I like crystals and jewelry, and journals with cool stuff on the cover, and exotic smelling herbs and oils, and cool little bottles to put them in, and candles and incense, and lush fabrics, and books, and more books, and Pagan music CDs, and books, and scrying crystals, and chalices, cauldrons, blades, and crystal incrusted sticks of various sizes and shapes! (Hello? Dr. Freud?) Did I mention books?And when I go out into the woods or on vacation I bring back shiny objects from nature. Shiny! And I have way too much junk. Too much. And whereever I go among Pagans they have something to sell me. And so I bring home more. There's maybe half of it that I use on a monthly basis, and that's including things that I have MADE. (See an upcoming post about my altar.)
I've spent time with some Pagans where they spend all their time talking about their tools and hardly any time talking about what they do with them, or their workings and worshippings with or without the tools. And I drool in envy at their stuff, but really... I want to learn something... whereever I go I want to learn something and I want to share experiences and get in touch with the spiritual side of them. And if that person is just telling me about their new bog oak athame that came all the way from some bog and blacksmith in England, and they never eve USED their old cheap Azure Green athame, then I gotta wonder what worth does something like that have? Certainly the guy who made it never intended it to sit on an altar looking pretty and not used? Such a person would be better off taking their money from the ATM, look up paper folding on the internet, and then folding their money into the shape of an athame. And then lay that on their altar until such a time as they need to put their car unexpectedly in the shop or something.
10. Harm None. I'm probably one of the few non white light Pagans that isn't Wiccan per se, that actually LIKES the Wiccan Rede. I do. I don't think of it in literal terms, but I think it's a nice little bit of advice. I like anything that gets people to stop and think about what they are doing. But I don't like another person shaking their finger at me and then pointing at a big, blinky sign that says "Harm None." If I am aware of the consquences of my actions and I find those consequences unacceptable, I'm not going to do it.
But I'm a human being, a grown up, and I make my own decisions and I make decisions for people I'm responsible for on a daily basis. On the other hand, I'm not likely to let someone with a blinky Harm None sign know what I'm up to, and since it doesn't affect them, it really doesn't matter anyway. But if anyone thinks for one second that if something endangers my family or my community that I'm not going to do anything about it magickally, then they are welcome to their ignorance. Just stay out of my way.
11. Snap judgements. How much can you really tell about a person from their My Space page? Now, my My Space page has a lot of videos, pictures, and bumper sticker type things that I enjoy playing with. People from work visit my MySpace. People I went to High School with visit it too. I don't mind them knowing I'm Pagan, but I'd rather just keep my loud mouth Pagan opinions in a Pagan arena. I didn't, at one time, have a list of books that I've read on my page. I added some older Pagan guy as a friend, because I like to network with people. So he goes to my MySpace page and then writes me a message. "How can you be Wiccan if you don't READ?"
I appreciate the fact that some people look at your MySpace page like it's a resume, but even with the lack of a thorough book list, there really wasn't anything on my MySpace that said, stupid, uneducated wannabe. In fact, I like to think my MySpace page looks like an altar of a sort. (Does anyone REALLY put any thought into their MySpace? )
It's just like when a person looks at my round face, my dark hair, and my short stature and automatically assumes that I'm a 22 year old goth girl (I've never been goth). Or that when I am in public I'm polite that I must be sweet and innocent. There is just not enough information from a photo, a few sentences, or even the first impression (even though it lasts the longest) to truly give people an accurate picture of what a person is.
A psychic may think they have got a person pegged in the first few seconds, but to me, that’s like taking a sentence out of context. I don’t care how psychic you are, you cannot fully understand the complexities of another person’s life in the first few minutes of meeting them. There are all sorts of moods and all kinds of situations and histories that give a full picture of who a person is and you are not omniscient enough to see it all!
12. Stupid People. Yes! Now that I've gotten past the part where I am tired of being assumed to be one of the stupid people, here is why. I can't blame Llewellyn publications for stupid people in the Craft. They are just making what sells.
And I think calling people stupid is probably not the right thing to do, because each human individual is truly a remarkably complex intelligence. They are too busy with so many things that take away from the big picture of what is sacred, complex, and beautiful about themselves as individuals and each other, that there is only room for go to work, make money, eat, survive, buy stuff, entertain, take a pill, go to sleep, forget, and wake up and start over.
This is why most people are sheeple… they follow the crowd, they try not to rock the boat, and they are purely concerned with their next instant gratification. The desire for instant gratification isn’t anything new, it’s just that humanity has only recently figured out how to get it.
How many people are truly gifted or lucky enough to be able to look at the intricacy of a small red leaf found on a sidewalk, or to think about how things are connected to each other, or what are the effects of small changes? So while there are thousands of people trying to be witches out there, there are only a few that are truly cut out for the job. (Yes. Being a Witch is a job. I might not get paid for it, but it’s a full-time occupation. My paying job is just for money.)
But it isn’t these normal everyday folks I’m talking about as “the stupid people”. Paganism is on the fringe of mainstream right now, and on our own fringes, we sometimes get the dregs of society. There’s a big problem with willful ignorance, bad decisions, an inability to control emotions and impulses, and a careless detachment from reality. I’m not even talking about people with mental illness, because the gods know I’ve had some awesome friends with some interesting mental illnesses. But there are just some people who have no excuse for being the termites that they are. May they be swallowed into the abyss.
13. The un-empowered. Actually, this goes for anyone, not just Pagans, who wallow in self pity and do nothing to remedy the situation they find themselves in. And this especially goes for any person casting spell after spell after spell that doesn’t work because they didn’t do the leg work on a mundane level to give the spell something to work with.
Get off your lazy ass. Make something of yourself. Quit making excuses. Grow a self-esteem. And that’s where it all begins, folks. Your very first step in creating your reality is to love YOUR SELF. I don’t care how many bad decisions you’ve made in the past, learn from them. I don’t care what your talents are, use them. I don’t care how many times your dad beat you with a wet noodle, forget him. You are the most important person in your Universe, so quit bringing down everyone else’s Universe with your sob story and become a success story. Starting out with a bum deal in life makes victory that much sweeter, and that much more empowering.
Well, I hope this B.S. didn’t piss too many people off. I’m a bit of a blow hard behind the keyboard, but I hope you don’t hold that against me too much. I mean, we all have opinions… if you don’t voice yours, you’ll never be heard. Drop me a line if you feel like it. Tell me how you agree or disagree. I’m always ripe for a discussion.
(Note: The F and the S words were deleted so that I would be able to post this message. Apparently Covenspace's software has a higher moral high ground. Yay, censorship. Bleah!)
