It's that time again.  This is just a sample of what I want in a President.

End the war!!! And take care of our veterans!!!!!!11!!!!
American jobs for Americans
A strong economy
Oversight, transparency in the government
Independance from OPEC
Independance from China
Technological advancement and industry within the United States in order to re-establish our economic standing in the world, while at the same time creating new jobs, and giving us independence from OPEC and China.
Healthcare, Healthcare, Healthcare!!!!

Autumn is settling in for my part of Texas.  The leaves haven't really started to change--that usually waits until mid-November--but the crisp chill is in the air, and I am starting to sleep more comfortably at night.  The summer was not too hot, but it was hot enough, and the air conditioner had started to smell dank from the humidity, even through constant filter changes. I've taken advantage of the cooler weather to get some work done in my yard, something I had put off for way too long. The yard was mowed as needed, but the weeds had taken over where the mower could not reach, and there was a pile of debris that was a huge eyesore.

Moving the bits of old lumber into the back of the pick-up, I stirred up several species of spiders, including a black widow who had cobbed her web in the square hole of a cinder block. For my own safety as well as my daughter's, I could not let her survive. She met a quick end with a squish from a shovel handle.

Other spiders moved on to make their webs under the porch.  I don't mind them, really. When the porch light is on, it attracts bugs, and it's pretty interesting to watch the spiders pounce on little moths and flies that get stuck in the web.  I guess I have a rather morbid fascination with them.

Monday morning, there was a big brown spider hanging underneath my side view mirror. I remarked about her to my hubby, and we glanced at her now and again as we pulled from the driveway to the highway.  I didn't expect her to last long because it was raining, the wind was gusting, and it's a 30 mile drive.  She moved from the bottom of the mirror, to the mirror itself, to stay out of the wind, stuck onto it with webs and holding on for dear life.  We stopped at the store, and then at the daycare, and she was still there as we got out of the car to go into work.

I was surprised to see her again when I went to lunch.  I stopped at the store to buy a few Halloween treats, then drove over to the sandwich shop.  I got it to go.  When I made it back out to my car, she had moved from her napping spot on the mirror to my door handle. The moment of our parting had come. 

I wasn't about to pick her up nicely and move her to safety.  She is a big girl. She'd gotten this far, and I wasn't up for a spider bite for all my trouble.  So like any squeamish woman, I took my little purse and knocked her onto the pavement with a little jump and the slightest breathy squeal.  A lady across the drive saw me jump and gave a chuckle at my expense. I smiled sheepishly, shooed the spider under the neighboring SUV, and got in the car. 

The driver of the SUV pulled out before I did. As I looked down at the pavement, I saw the little brown lady scrambling for the curb.  She made it onto the sidewalk, and then made a mad dash toward the door of a jewelry store.

I didn't watch her anymore.  Who knows what trouble she would stir up in there? I said a little prayer that she would find safety away from the bottoms of people's shoes and rolled up jewelry flyers.  I imagine her finding her way into some warm dark room in the back somewhere where she can lay some eggs and finish her life out killing crickets or something.  And maybe, just maybe, the screams will be heard this spring when the babies hatch and start crawling all over that nice little jewelry store, where they sell diamonds mined by poor African kids at extortionist rates.

*Sigh*  I am so very, very bad.

Ok, let me get in character for this one.

Like, this is like the funniest things I've ever seen, on like Wicca and stuff. Because, like, it isn't bad enough that Wicca (and other Pagan religious practice) isn't taken seriously.... And it isn't bad enough that teens aren't taken seriously because of a few whack-job teens, but OMG, if you put the two together, like along with like the IQ of like a wilted turnip on crack, you will get like, the most like, f'd up example of like, what we don't need.

And I'm saying this after reading the latest of crappy books which is yet another example of what we don't need.

So, here is the link to the video on Youtube. Warning: Do not drink anything while watching this.

Evil Martha Stewart

Ever notice that when things get really sh!tty, in the government, in disasters, in the most harrowing of experiences, there is the innate human need to laugh?  You may have noticed lately that comedians have gotten serious about their routines, pulling out all the stops, to make you laugh insanely, to push buttons, to call attention to the ills of the world, and to get us to take a step back and see how f'd up the world really is.  And instead of grieving, we laugh.

There's a saying that I use often, "If I didn't laugh, I'd cry."  It's true.  The most stressful of circumstances, in order to keep my cool, I reach for that good old sense of humor to relieve the tension... my own, usually.  Because I'm a clutz, because I stick my foot in my mouth, because I'm a passionate and emotional person, and tears come easily.  Literally, if I didn't find a reason to laugh, the tears would take over.  Indeed, when someone is having a stressful day and a friend says something hilarious to them, they are often met with gratitude.  "Thanks, I needed a laugh!"

Comedy is part of my religion.  Not in a way as to say that I worship comedy or that it is part of some relgious doctrine or tradition, but it is an integral part of my spirituality.  There are times when I cannot find the release I need without a good laugh, and I also yearn for the brutal honesty of the Fool.

You often hear that the best way to deflect a curse is to laugh, and some "dark mages" banish with laughter after they've conjured up something that isn't funny.  Think of, for example, Disney villains, usually after working some sort of evil magical spell, they go into a fit of maniacal laughter.

Laughter has a double edge to it.  It forever pushes the boundaries of acceptability, causing us to really think about our issues and why we consider something taboo.  It is used to hurt and maim, especially when the subject of humor is someone who is an outsider because of some physical or social deformity.  It divides people from each other, especially when used to make fun of someone's race or social status to the exclusion of others, and sometimes divides people from themselves, when they use laughter as a panacea. 

Humor is an incredible art form.  There are no strict guidelines in how to use it properly.  The formula for comedians, if I remember correctly, is Trajedy + Timing = Comedy.  However, I think that Truth is also a powerful ingredient as well.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that if it isn't true, it isn't funny.  That is, unless the falsehood in the joke is so apparent as to be farcical.  One of my favorite comedians sometimes gets his facts wrong, and while trying to make a joke of it, loses my appreciation for his act.  What wins it back is that for the most part his jokes are powerful, poking a stick in society's soft underbelly of assumptions, stereotypes, and secret urges.  He even pushes racial boundaries, but makes fun of everyone equally.

I have to wonder why the Gods and Powers That Be have annointed Humanity with the gift of laughter.  Were we to be without it, would we get so caught up in the negativity of our minds as to not be able to function? Would other pleasurable activities and emotions lose their ability to give our lives beauty without laughter to remind us that our problems aren't insurmountable?  Would we take our values so seriously that any challenge to those values would result in violence and chaos? 

But we do have laughter.  In our joys and sorrows, laughter connects us all.  To laugh together with our loved ones, or even in an audience, we form bonds with one another of shared thought and emotion.  We forget the pains of bringing offspring in the world when we hear a child laugh for the first time, and we become addicted to the feeling, the sound, the release, and the understanding of something that is funny. 

I speak of laughter as if it were love.  Instead, it is my love of laughter that makes me to speak of it so.  It is such an evocative and provocative force that it should be taken seriously, as seriously as we take all the other emotions. 

But not too seriously.